Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The salesman of change



I once met a man who claimed to have the power to change the world.

"Change what?" I asked him.
"You know, anything. All the bad stuff... stuff that dont work." He seemed genuinely concerned about all the shit that is wrong with this world.
"Well why havent you done it already?" I asked him. You see, even I wanted the world to change.
"I am just taking a general survey first. Then I will change it all at one go." He took out his dictaphone, "I normally use this for my system study."
I was very impressed. "Here is a true professional," I thought to myself.
"Tell me ONE, only ONE thing that you want to be changed in this world," and he thrust the dictaphone at my face, quite aggresively, I thought at that time.
"mmm hmmm... more hot... no no.. cheaper superbikes.. naah... just make me... i mean everybody rich." I said.

He switched off the dictaphone. I could see that he was pretty upset about something. "Idiot," he said to me, "all you people are the same."
He reminded me of my girlfriend when she is angry. "All you men are the same" she says at those times, and I very tactfully refrain from asking her how she knows about 'all men.'
The guy was making some notes, with lots of graphs and charts, scowling deeply. "What happened man?" I asked him, "Do I get another wish?"
He did not answer me. He took out a satellite phone from his satchel and was soon talking to someone who was obviously his boss. I could hear some snatches of their conversation, "hopeless... no sense... wipe out all of them.. but sir, they dont care about anything... ok sir i will look for someone else," he put down the phone resignedly. It seemed like his boss had asked him to rework, or atleast do overtime without pay.
"You in for a long night brother.. hehhehheh, are you new to this job? Was that your manager?" I asked him, since we IT guys can understand such problems better than the rest of the species.

"That was the Lord and God of all things, Master of the Universe, Yahweh, Jehovah, Baal or whatever other name you may know Him by" he replied testily. "Silly old geezer! Does not know when to give up. Some idiot in this plane writes that He made man in His own image, and He takes the insult personally. I keep telling Him, Boss, men will be men, but does He care? He just wants to prove that men are actually better than they really are. Damned fool."

I was dumbstruck."Dude what are you smoking? Give me some of that shit will ya."
The guy looked at me with a pained expression, sprouted a couple of wings and flew away.
What a humbug! Obviously the guy was loony as a coot, though I dont know how he got hold of those wings. Maybe a marketing gimmick of some type. I should have said "I want my mobile connection changed" or some shit.

Damn I blew it!!!