Sunday, June 14, 2009

Fever Dream

I am standing on a deserted island, alone in the middle of the ocean. The moon shines down upon the black vastness, its deathly pale light reflected on the backs of the hideous predators that splash about these forsaken waters. I have a raft with me, but do not know how to steer it. In desperation I push the raft into the water, only to see it snapped between the jaws of a narwhal. I am forgotten in my deserted island, digging a grave with my bare hands. I lie down in my grave, and look at the stars until my eyes close.

I am standing at the foot of a spiral staircase, dwarfed by this singular structure. I look up, and my dreams beckon me from the point where the stairs fade into the sky. Yet I cannot make up my mind. I know that I have just finished climbing the same staircase, but my dreams still lie at the end of the rainbow. The ground crumbles beneath my feet, and I jump on the staircase. My life spirals by down below, the same memories coming into focus again and again, and then moving farther and farther away. Are my memories fading or am I walking away from them? Unknowing, I climb up because I have nothing else to do.

I am riding a wild horse, clinging on for my life. Rushing through the middle of a jungle, I am scarred by branches that hit me everywhere. Beautiful vistas pass me by, but I do not notice them. I close my eyes to numb myself, but it does not make any difference. I am too scared to jump, for on the horse I have a direction to accompany my pain. My wild horse is galloping towards the edge of a cliff, and still I am more afraid of falling down than dying. The horse jumps down into its doom, and I accompany it, still clutching its fiery manes.

I am flying away from my land. Thunderbolts strike me down.

I am hiding in the deep blue sea. A maelstorm smashes me against a cliff.

I burrow down the earth. A sea of lava incinerates me.

There is no escape.

1 comment:

  1. The dreams are almost poetic in scope. Hitchcockian and depressing, these got me thinking as well.