Friday, September 11, 2009

And there was...

When I gained consciousness, I found myself alone on the edge of an unknown precipice. Of course, I did not know it at that time, for it was all dark around me. It was my first faltering steps who threw me down into this unseen abyss. The sensation of falling lost all meaning after some time, as my idea of reality adjusted to the fact that solid ground was, in fact, an illusion. This realization was strangely liberating, until I realized that I was alone, and thus already liberated. It was strangely disconcerting, for I found the feeling of absolute liberty to be quite underwhelming. Slowly I lost all feeling of kinesis, until the moment came when I found myself to be suspended in space.

It was pretty boring.

I mean, there didn’t seem to be a purpose for my being there, alone, floating in nothingness. It seemed totally pointless, not to mention ludicrous, that I should be left hanging out in the middle of nowhere for no apparent rhyme or reason. Then the fireworks started.
A tiny speck of light shyly appeared above me, and I named it the North Star. It grew brighter and brighter until I could not look at it anymore. Then it suddenly exploded into countless particles, each more bright than its brother, and my senses were filled with a cacophony of light. After a while it all calmed down, and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of expectation. Now I regained my sense of motion, as I hurtled past massive churning nebulae and feeble starspawn and extravagant supernovas – and counting milestones in emptiness.

It was good while it lasted.

After the lights went out, I was once again suspended in space. But this time I had the memory of the cosmic dance burnt into my consciousness to sustain me... for a while. It was like this one event had put in a glowing marker to my aimless journey. Now that I knew of light, the darkness was oppressive to me, and not liberating. I still do not know why the light appealed to me so much. Perhaps I will always yearn for something that I cannot get…

Anyways, I waited patiently for the lights to return. But waiting has no meaning when time stands still. And thus was born the first active flicker in my passive existence – a yearning for the return of the celestial spectacle that I only vaguely remembered. This flicker of yearning grew and grew, like an ache in the chest and unwept tears in the eyes, and it struggled, like a titan in caught in a net, and it grew and grew… until my hollow shell could not contain it any more. I cried out, “Let there be light”, and there was light.

The last thing I remember before losing consciousness was a voice telling someone, “Congratulations my dear. It’s a boy.”

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